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This Mother's Day is special for Flugge family
Mother's Day is certainly an extremely important and poignant day in each of our lives. It gives us a unique opportunity to remember and honor our own mothers or the mothers of our children.
Not begrudging our fathers in the slightest, Mother's Day takes on a special aura of it's own. Many of us could not begin to list and/or appreciate all of the things that our mothers have done for us. Many times when the light bulb does finally turn on, we are well on our way into adulthood with children of our own before we can understand and appreciate just what our mothers sacrificed for us. Whether it be the small daily tasks that mothers do for us or something more impacting in our lives, we sometimes take for granted or just simply overlook just how important our mothers have been in our lives.
One person who likely appreciated and loved her mother before, now has even a stronger and lasting bond after a monumental act of motherly love.
That person is Sherry (Flugge) Carolan of Cowell.
The story begins when Sherry Flugge was seventeen years old. During a physical exam it was discovered that Sherry would never be able to conceive and carry a baby of her own. Sherry was found to have only one ovary and the doctors were certain she would not be able to bear children. To a young girl planning a future that included marriage, children and everything that goes along with raising a family of your own, the news was devastating.
Sherry's mother Cindy tried to reassure her that she and her husband could always adopt children, but Sherry hung on to hope that something else could be done.
Sherry and Jamie Carolan started dating in November 1997 when Sherry was 19.
After several years, the relationship began to get serious and marriage was a strong possibility. Sherry then told Jamie about her physical problem.
Jamie assured Sherry that he loved her for who she was and that everything would work out.
After dating for five years the couple was married. As time went on, the idea of children and a family grew stronger and stronger for Sherry and Jamie.
After several years of marriage the couple and their families had a decision to make. Adoption was a strong possibility, but Cindy had mentioned to
Sherry years before about the option of she or Sherry's sister Steph carrying a baby for the young couple. There were lots of scenarios to ponder and decisions to be made.
The families decided it would probably be best for all concerned if Cindy would bear and carry the child for Sherry and Jamie. Cindy, although 45, was a more than willing participant, but because of her age, there were so many questions and concerns from everyone involved.
"I spent countless hours searching on the Internet for a clinic that would do a transfer procedure," Sherry said. "They were going to take the eggs from me and the semen from Jamie and implant them into a carrier, who was to be mom."
Sherry finally found a group called RM&IA in St. Paul, Minnesota. This agency had a three chance warranty program where you paid a set fee for three transfers in which they would implant the embryos into the carrier.
If the procedure didn't work after three attempts, you would get 80 per cent of your fee back.
The first visit to the clinic was scheduled on January 2, 2004. "The people there talked about the financial responsibility, risks, what the actual procedure would be like, etc.," Sherry said. "All four of us, (Cindy, husband Ron, Sherry and Jamie) all had to talk with a psychiatrist and take a multiple choice test that took 2-3 hours to see if we were psychologically ready for this procedure. We all passed."
"I started my meds, which included pills and shots, to help increase my egg production on February 16, 2005," Sherry said.
Cindy started her medication to help prepare her for the childbirth procedure on February 1, 2005. Shots then followed and Ron had to administer those. "He seemed a little too eager to do that," Cindy chuckled.
Sherry continued taking meds up till the day of her retrieval, where the doctors actually sedated her and extracted all the eggs that were growing over a period of several weeks. The doctors were able to extract 19 grown eggs.
They placed them in a lab dish and fertilized them with Jamie's sperm.
Ten of the 19 eggs fertilized and became embryos.
The first transfer procedure took place on April 8, 2005. "Jamie and I went back to the transfer room with mom and we got to see the entire process on an ultrasound screen," said Sherry.
"They implanted two embryos. We even got a picture of the implanted embryos after they put them into Mom's uterus."
On April 22, the families went to the doctor's office to have blood drawn from Cindy to see if she was pregnant but the results were negative.
"We were disappointed, but we knew we had two more tries," Cindy said. "We just kept putting our trust in the Lord to help us through this. "All of us took the news pretty well," Sherry said.
Cindy had to stop her meds and wait for awhile and then start the cycle of meds and shots all over again.
The second transfer procedure took place on July 25, 2005. The doctors unthawed three embryos, but only one survived the thawing process. They implanted that one in Cindy and several weeks later the pregnancy test came back negative again.
"I thought I was doing something wrong and I was not going to be able to carry that baby which was the most precious gift I could give to my daughter," Cindy said. "It was tough on our family, but we pulled together.
I never prayed so hard in my life just to let Sherry and Jamie have this baby."
Sherry said the second negative test was difficult. "It really hit us hard," she said. "We all knew that we had only one more chance left. You could feel a little tension between myself, my father, my mother and husband. I think we were just frustrated and didn't know what the problem really was and what we could do to fix it. But we were still there for each other no matter what."
The third and final transfer procedure took place on October 10, 2005. The doctors thawed out the last five embryos and only three survived. They implanted them and several weeks later the test came back positive.
"I was just overwhelmed by everything we had gone through," Cindy said. "I knew God had played a big part in creating this beautiful baby-to-be for such loving and deserving parents."
"We were all so excited when the test came back positive," said Sherry. "It was a huge weight lifted off all our shoulders. We were actually going to have a baby after all we had been through."
The family got to see their first ultrasound on December 13, 2005. "We could see the baby's heartbeat," Sherry said. "It was the most amazing sight.
It made all of what we had gone through together so worth it."
"The pregnancy itself was very easy going with no real complications," said Cindy. It was amazing to know that my grandbaby was growing inside me and that I was helping to bring this baby into the world."
"We went to every prenatal checkup with my mom and got to see every ultrasound," Sherry said. "The doctor predicted July 18, 2006 as the due date."
The birth was eventually a planned C-section for July 12, but baby had other plans in mind. "On July 3, I received a call from mom at 3:10 a.m. telling me that her water had broken and that dad was taking her to the hospital,"
Sherry said. "My husband was working third shift at work and our other vehicle was at Jamie's parent's house. I didn't have a vehicle to drive, so I called his parents to come and get me. I also called Jamie at work to let him know what was going on and he headed toward Mason City."
"I thought it was the longest trip I had ever made to Mason City," said Cindy, but my husband said we made it in record time."
Once the families all arrived, the doctor was able to do a C-section.
Sherry and Jamie were able to go into the delivery room and witness the entire birth.
At 6:37 a.m. on July 3, 2006, Trevor John Carolan was born. He weighed 8 lbs.9 oz. He was very healthy and somewhat happy.
"It was a true miracle," said Sherry. "Once we were able to take him back to mom's room, it was breathtaking to see how he responded to her. The look in his eyes when he looked up at her was beyond words."
Both Sherry and her mother in separate statements for this story said almost exactly the same thing. "We now have a bond for life that will be even stronger for all of us because of what happened."
"My mom and Trevor will have a bond their entire lives that no one will really understand except for Trevor and her," Sherry said. "It's truly amazing what my mom has done for us. Without her we would never have been able to have a child of our own flesh and blood. I am reminded of my mom and that fact every time I look at Trevor. It makes you realize what a true miracle our son is and what a wonderful mom I have. There is nothing in the world I could ever do to repay her for helping give us our son."
Aunt Steph and Uncle Andy (Cindy's daughter and son) also had emotions concerning the entire procedure.
"At first I had mixed emotions," said Steph. "I didn't really know what to expect. But after going through the whole process, I now have a better understanding. I was scared for my mom, but happy for my sister. Trevor is such a neat kid and my mom is a very special person."
"I didn't know what to expect," said Andy. I was very sad when I heard the news about my sister, because I always looked forward to being an uncle. Then when I found out mom was going to carry the child for my sister I was very happy and shocked at the same time. It was very different watching my mom going through the pregnancy.
My mom is a special lady and very brave, considering all the possible risks involved. I'm elated it turned out the way it did. My sister and her husband have a great little boy and I'm a proud uncle and my mom's probably the proudest of us all. She should be. She made a great sacrifice."
"When I saw Sherry and Jamie looking at Trevor in the nursery with their glowing faces, it's something I'll never forget." Cindy said. "To think, here is my baby holding her baby and I helped make that happen. I'll never forget it."
"We had so much support from family, friends, and co-workers who helped our family through all of this. Everyone was praying so hard through the whole time. Someone asked me how I could give up a baby after carrying him for nine months. I didn't give him up. He's my gift to the people I love."
In reality, that's what all our moms would say isn't it? We just need to do something very simple and love them in return.
--by Warren Haacke, Press-News Reporter
Story created May 08, 2007 - 14:25:26 CDT.
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